This post might smack you in the face and leave your ears ringing, so continue reading.
We’ve all experienced great loss whether it was heartbreak or a missed opportunity. We stayed in bed, cried, and felt immense hurt. When we entered into the one of the most vulnerable stages, the stage where you need to focus on yourself in order to progress, we filled that time with something or someone else. The dangers of filling the void is far more tragic than we think. In the moment, everything feels warm and comfortable. You’re blindly maneuvering as if everything is perfect and ignoring the fact that filling the void with empty people and things are not a solution, but a part of a deeper problem.
Here’s the issue with filling the void with people and I’ll make it plain… you are using those people. Sucking their energy and time for your own benefit until you finally snap out of your toxic trance and discard them, praying you won’t suffer any awkward encounters with them on your way to class. Not only are you potentially hurting innocent people, but you have now entered them into every aspect of your schedule, ultimately leaving no time to mentally or physically resolve the issues that created this void in the beginning.
Perhaps, you knew to leave those poor souls alone and tough out the void by your lonely. Yet, you turned to things or activities that are less than desirable for your stability in the moment. Now you find yourself requiring a happy hour everyday and craving the taste of tequila. Or you might find yourself jumping from bed to bed and I’m not speaking about the game we played at summer camp as children. Better yet, your activity is innocent and you busy yourself in work or throw yourself onto 500 committees to occupy your time. All of these roads lead to the destination where you remain stuck.
Instead of filling the void with people or things, why not actually take the time to find a resolution and get to the bottom of the issue? Stop expecting to find your answers in a new partner or glass at the bar. It’s already dangerous to fill the void but prolonged filling is far more worse. At this point, you’ve found yourself in a two year relationship, struggling with a serious addiction, or completely burned out. The sooner you realize, the better.
Take the time to fix your problems. The people, committees, sex, and happy hours will be there when you are fully capable and ready. Sort out the eggs in your basket before pilling on more because broken eggs are messy. Real solutions over temporary gains and fixes.
Best of wishes,